Promises, promises
by RPGWarrior4824
Summary: The war is over, but that doesn't mean everyone will get their happy ending. Many things need to be rebuilt. Everyone lost a lot thanks to this war, but to pick things up and forgive and forget isn't always so easy. Was it worth it? Or will there be some consequences of the choices that were made? Now that everything is over, they will need to live with it.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Was it worth it?**

**Notes:**

**A gift to natsora****. ****This fic started as an Angst prompt that ****she chose. I may have run away with it. The prompt is "Stop making empty promises!" Thank you so much for the prompt.**

**Many thanks to Ripley95 who suggested I make use of the MEHEM mod AKA Happy ending mod. And also offered to beta this chapter. Thank you for all the support you gave me with this fic. You gave me the push that I needed.**

* * *

Shepard did it. Reports were flying in all over the Galaxy, spreading the good news of Reapers that stopped attacking. They did it, they'd won.

It was a call for celebration, but only for so long.

At least they recovered Shepard, but her injuries were…bad. When they rescued her she was barely conscious.

Most of her armor was destroyed. She was covered in blood and she was almost unrecognizable. If it wasn't for a hoarse voice that came out of her, they wouldn't have known she was alive.

Joker couldn't leave her. Not even if he tried.

Both Shepard and Garrus were admitted to the hospital.

The hospitals were in chaos. So many injured. So many had died.

Garrus and Liara were with Shepard on the mission until Garrus was hit with the reaper beam.

Garrus didn't want to go, and she asked Liara to take him. Liara couldn't afford to hesitate as Shepard asked, no pleaded, to take him. Liara knew Garrus wouldn't survive if he went with Shepard. And there was no way Shepard would forgive herself if Garrus died. Not if there was a way to prevent it.

So Liara tried her best not to let it show how much she hated to leave her. Because the look Shepard gave Garrus meant one thing. She wasn't sure if she was going to make it this time.

Shepard was a survivor.

She survived Mindoir.

She was a war hero, earning the star of Terra after Elysium.

The Normandy defeated Saren, and after Cerberus rebuilt it, they defeated the Collectors. Their chances were slim and one of Liara's biggest regrets in her life would always be not joining Shepard back then.

But Shepard seemed confident before the Collector ship. Liara could see that she knew they were going to win.

But that look was lost when they separated on the Normandy Shepard's words were shaky. The words Shepard said to Garrus weren't just for him to go with Liara. It was for Shepard too. She needed to say goodbye. Because she didn't know if she'd ever see him again.

Just before taking off, Shepard and Liara shared a look. Liara shook her head in a way that said Shepard didn't need to say goodbye to her. Neither of them exchanged words. They didn't have to.

Shepard gave one look of hesitance. One last look before running straight towards the beam.

Liara didn't know if she'd ever see her best friend again. With all her strength, she turned and helped Garrus inside of the Normandy.

Chakwas could've treated most of Garrus' injuries, but not to the extent that he needed treatment.

When they moved Garrus from the Normandy to the hospital, he was delirious. Coming in and out of consciousness. Somewhere down the line, he asked about Shepard. Mumbled her name. Liara took his talon into her hand and assured him she's okay.

But she lied, because Shepard wasn't okay.

Liara promised Shepard that she'd look after Garrus. So that's exactly what she did.

Directly after Liara assured him, Chakwas gave her a look. Liara had no idea if that was a look of approval or disapproval. Whether Chakwas agreed with her or not. Liara was usually so good at reading people but not now. Not in that state.

Shepard was in a medically induced coma. Her injuries have seen to that. And because of her condition and the section of the hospital that she was in, only family could have gone to see her.

But…Shepard had no family left. At least not blood. Her crew, the Normandy was the only family she had left. Shepard once said to Liara that family isn't always blood, it's the people in your life who want you in theirs. The ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile and who love you no matter what. That's exactly who the people of the Normandy were for her.

They filled that hole. And now her family couldn't be there for her when she needed them the most.

After a lot of smooth talking and sorting some things out, Hackett could at least drop in. He kept them updated. But the news…was not good. Where Garrus made little improvement every day, the same couldn't be said about Shepard.

With Liara's connections, she finally found a way to see her.

The hospital was crowded. The war's damage was visible everywhere. On people's expressions. There was a lot of crying. Doctors telling their patients' loved ones bad news. Their heads bowed when receiving the news. Liara didn't need to know what was said between them.

Liara could only hope nobody had to give them that news.

Shepard is a survivor.

She'll be okay.

She'll survive this like she always did in the past.

This can't be the end of her story.

Shepard had some evidence on her face of past bruises. There were tubes where none should have been. Liara had seen people in the past who were hooked up with tubes and machines, but seeing Shepard like that was a whole other story on its own. The machine beeped time away.

When everyone thought Shepard was dead, she lost two years of her life. Liara just hoped it wouldn't be the same this time.

While Shepard and Garrus were in the hospital, time didn't stand still. Time wouldn't wait for them.

The problem with the war wasn't only the damage they cause while the war was going on, but afterwards as well.

Shepard might've built up alliances but that didn't mean that everything would be easy. There were problems. The relays being destroyed was the biggest of them all. That meant that everyone was trapped on the planets they were on.

Everyone had to do their part. And that included the Normandy crew.

* * *

"Are you ready to go?" Liara asked Garrus.

He was staring out of the hospital window.

"I went to see her today," Garrus completely ignored Liara's question.

The hospital gave the crew the okay to see Shepard. It was a relief really. Everyone went to see her, and apparently, Garrus went to see her too.

Liara nodded her head. It was a knowing nod. It was probably not the best idea for Garrus to have seen Shepard this way. But Liara knew he needed to see her. Garrus changed. They all did. War changes people.

But of course, Garrus couldn't see the nod Liara gave him. He just stared out of the window. He ) was there, but it was like nobody was home.

"She'll wake up," Liara's words made Garrus turn and face her. His mandibles flared in disbelief.

"It was a mistake leaving her." She heard the regret in his subvocals. Maybe even anger.

"At what cost Garrus? Your injuries…you wouldn't have survived."

Liara played that scene in her mind over and over. Even if there was a better way, there was nothing that they could've done to make things better.

Garrus just stared at her and she could see the hollowness in his eyes. Whatever thoughts he had, he kept them to himself.

* * *

As time went on, people changed. The little patience they had started to wear thin.

There were meetings. Hundreds of them. To make sure that they could handle the situation as best as they could.

The crime rate spiked overnight. In the end, everyone forgot what Shepard did. They forgot how they got there.

They only remembered the worst of it. All the people they'd lost were burned into their minds. They were blinded by their anger.

They needed to ration the food. Not because they were nearly out of food for certain races, but because no one had a clue when a solution would be found to travel between worlds again.

Liara was with a team that was trying to fix the relays. She felt responsible. She was the one who helped find the blueprints of the crucible, and she needed to find a solution.

After another pointless day of finding no answers, she was glad when she checked her messages and saw that she got one from Hackett. Her eyes quickly scanned through the email until she saw a certain sentence.

Shepard is awake.

She read the sentence again and again. She needed to make sure she hadn't read it wrong in some way. That her eyes didn't deceive her.

"Liara, open up!" someone hammered on her door.

If she wasn't as focused on the email as she was in that moment, she wouldn't have almost fallen off of her seat. Liara wasn't someone who scared easily. Being the Shadow Broker, she couldn't be.

But that didn't mean she didn't know who it was. She'd recognize Garrus' voice anywhere, and with it, she heard the urgency of it.

That told her one thing. Hackett sent it to the entire Normandy crew. Or the old one anyway.

Everyone was too busy trying to find solutions to the endless problems they were facing. The Normandy crew was no more. But Shepard being awake would change things. She'd bring them together again.

She activated the door, and only needed to wait a few seconds. Just as the red sign of the door changed into the colour green, Garrus rushed into the room.

"You heard?" he asked, not even greeting her. Who could blame him? With news like this, no greeting was necessary.

"Got an email from Hackett," she made a movement with her hand to where her terminal was.

When Liara and Garrus arrived at the hospital Shepard was talking to one of the doctors. It was great seeing her up.

* * *

Shepard's recovery period was… long. It was frustrating for her. Being cooped up in the bed wasn't something she was made for. Not being able to do the things she was used to was another story.

One step at a time. But that was easier said than done.

Garrus was the one that told Shepard about Anderson. There was a shift in her features. She tried to hide it away, but Garrus could see it had a huge effect on her. Not everyone could see it though.

Over the years, Garrus had been able to get to know Shepard better. With time, it was as if he had gotten to know a whole other person. She had shown sides of herself to him that he didn't know existed.

She didn't speak a lot the remainder of that visit.

Anderson was found near to where Shepard was. They tried to save him too, but there was no way. They simply arrived too late.

They were lucky in fact, that they'd found Anderson at all. Even though the war ended months ago, so many people were still lost. So many questions, yet so few answers.

Nobody knew how this would affect Shepard.

Unfortunately, his funeral had to be held while Shepard was still in a coma. When Garrus told her this, he could see the hurt in her brown eyes. She understood of course, but that didn't mean it hurt less.

Hackett agreed that Shepard could place Anderson's name on the wall of the fallen. The Normandy crew decided that they could have a service of their own for him.

"When?" Shepard's gaze finally met his.

"Whenever you're ready."

Her gaze returned toward a window. She was looking at something outside, but Garrus couldn't be sure what it was. After what felt like a lifetime, she slowly shook her head and responded, "It should've been done already. People shouldn't have to wait for me. He deserved better."

"It's not your fault that he's dead Shepard."

She fiddled with her hands, "You don't know that" she said softly, but her tone had a bite in it.

Shepard's recovery went slowly. There was lots of physical therapy involved and she needed a lot of patience.

* * *

The day when Shepard was going to place Anderson's name on the memorial wall had finally arrived.

There were a few words said about him, though not everyone said something. Shepard was glad that everyone could make it.

The original Normandy was supposed to be his. It felt like a lifetime ago when Shepard was The SR-1's XO.

She'll never forget how it felt to walk its halls for the first time. When her feet made contact on it, she had no idea this was going to be how things turned out. If only she knew back then.

But if she had to do it all over again, she would.

It was time for her to place the plaque on the memorial wall. Her hands went over Anderson's name and with it, a lump in her throat formed. She had to place soldiers' names on memorial walls before, but this time was different.

Flashes of memories went through her head. The words: You did good kid, were among these flashes.

Thinking of their last conversation. He was gone while she had to move on. The way he died…he deserved better.

Suddenly she became aware of a few hot tears falling on her cheeks. Luckily she had her back turned on the others. After taking a few deep breaths, she blinked the tears away. She placed the plaque in the middle of the names. Her hands made sure the plaque stayed put.

Just as she wanted to turn around, a name caught her attention.

_Kaidan Alenko_

She wished there was a way she could've saved him and Ash back then, but at that moment the mission was more important.

She finally turned around and went back to where the others were, taking her place next to Garrus. She felt his one talon touching her one hand. Fingers interlocking until they fit perfectly. She looked at him, giving him a smile.

Coming back to Earth wasn't the end.

This was only the beginning.

* * *

"What's this thing about having one last mission together Shepard? Your email was very vague," Ashley said.

"It was vague for a reason," she replied.

They were in the Normandy's war room. She hadn't expected to get an assignment from the Council so soon. But she was glad. It was time that she pulled her own weight around here.

Rebuilding. Fixing. Recovering all that was lost.

There was no time to sit back and relax.

Before their final mission, Shepard told Garrus she was tired. A huge weight fell off her shoulders after she admitted that. She was tired, but before, she hadn't realized how truly tired she was.

She said after this, if she survives this she'll retire. But…after recovering in the hospital... after having to sit and do nothing, she realized something.

She couldn't retire. At least not right now. Not when there's so much that still needed to be done. How could she sit on a beach somewhere while the rest help rebuild?

"So is this everyone?" Garrus asked.

"Yes. The rest can't join us for this," Shepard answered.

Unfortunately, not everyone could make it. Wrex and Grunt couldn't. They had too much on their hands. Jack had her students. Tali said she'll be joining until there was a way to travel through the worlds. She was an Admiral now and she had a whole list of responsibilities to take care of.

This was probably Ashley's last mission with Shepard. Being the second human Spectre, she'd probably have her own assignment pretty soon.

"We've got orders from the council," Shepard started. Before she could go any further, there were already questions rising in the air.

"The council?" Garrus was the first to ask.

"Isn't that too soon?" Ashley asked the next question before Shepard got a chance to answer Garrus. "What could they possibly want?"

It was the same question Shepard asked the council. But upon getting the mission details, she understood. This was important. This couldn't wait.

It might be an easy mission, but it was definitely important.

"It's Cerberus," with Shepard's words came a silence of disbelief.

Just like her, they couldn't believe Cerberus was back.

* * *

Everything was settled. They were as prepared for this mission as they would ever be.

Shepard asked Liara to use her connections and find out what she could. When Shepard's clone stole the Normandy, Liara's input helped a lot. Her research helped to get them closer to the truth.

Cerberus came back at the worst possible time. They couldn't have had worse timing, even if they'd tried. Of course, it seemed just like a rogue faction, but with them, anything was possible.

"I don't know, Shepard, something seems off," Liara said, looking down at a datapad. "There could be more to this."

"Stealing weapons. Food," Garrus chimed in. "There must be something more."

"It's Cerberus. There's always something more." Garrus and Liara were concerned. Shepard could understand why. "Look," she crossed her arms across her chest, "we don't know what kind of state they're in. Without The Illusive Man, they could be very unorganized."

"Unorganized doesn't necessarily mean good, Shepard," it was Liara's turn to cross her arms across her chest.

"I know," Shepard said softly, "but it can be used to our benefit."

"Maybe," Garrus sounded a bit too sceptical for Shepard's taste, "But why steal the food. What do they benefit from it?"

"There's more to it than making people angry," Liara switched her datapad on again. "But I can't find anything."

"Liara, stop worrying. You did what you could. You did your job and now the rest of us can do ours," Shepard tried to assure her. But if she knew Liara as well as she thought she did, it didn't help matters.

Liara shook her head in disagreement, "Not good enough."

"It's too soon, Shepard. You've barely recovered. To be out in the field now," Garrus seemed hesitant for a moment, "I don't like it. None of us do."

A number of people came to Shepard and expressed their concerns to her, but she was ready. She couldn't sit on her ass and do nothing.

"It'll-"

Shepard was interrupted by Traynor's voice booming from the comms, "There's an incoming vidcall for Garrus."

Shepard and Liara both turned to Garrus, questioning looks on both of their faces. "Go," Shepard told him. "We'll continue this later."

After Garrus went in the direction of the comm room, Liara continued, "Garrus is right, Shepard."

"It'll be fine, Liara," she tried to assure her. "I promise."

Shepard wouldn't make promises quickly, but she studied this mission over. There was no way this one could go wrong. Not that she could see. She couldn't see another way to assure her.

"It's not fine, Shepard!" anger came from Liara's voice and she had no idea where it came from. "Stop making empty promises!" Her words came out loud. Sharp. If Liara intended it to be so, Shepard wouldn't know.

"Liara?" Shepard questioned.

"Shepard," Liara's voice was calmer this time, "we almost lost you. Again. I…we can't do that again."

"I'm fine and I'm ready to get out of there again."

"Shepard you aren't listening to me." When Shepard didn't say anything, Liara continued, "You weren't here. You don't know how it's been. Especially for Garrus. He was a mess and not because of his injuries." There was a pause. Maybe the longest one there ever was between them. "I can't lose you again."

"You won't."

"You don't know that!" she pointed a finger towards Shepard. "Something's not right here Shepard."

"We're going!" it sounded like an order, even to her own ears. "If you don't like it then you can go!"

Shepard ended the argument there. Liara knew better to say anything else.

She didn't know it then, but it might've been better to have listened to Garrus and Liara. Instead, she went through with the mission the next day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Too good to be true**

**Notes:**

**A big thanks to Ripley 95 for betaing.**

* * *

"Commander," Joker said, "ETA 5 minutes."

Cortez, unfortunately, couldn't join them for this mission. Three including Shepard would infiltrate the place of destination and the rest would stay in comm range. It would be James and Garrus going with her this time.

Ashley wanted to join them, but she was needed back at the base.

The Normandy wouldn't be used for this mission. Joker wasn't very happy to hear that. It was months since he could take the Normandy out for a spin. And who could blame him? All of them missed the Normandy.

Liara and Shepard haven't spoken to each other since their conversation the day before. But Liara decided she would stay and help.

They all got their orders.

Garrus and James sat across from her. This mission was like the old days.

And for Shepard this was just what the doctor ordered.

"You heard the man," Shepard said, eyeing both Garrus and James.

"Nice to have you back, Lola," James said.

Nice to be back, she wanted to say, but instead, she let the silence speak for itself and focused her mind on the mission. "Ready?" she asked no one in particular.

"Got your back, Commander," Garrus replied.

Garrus was someone who could always stay professional. When Garrus and Shepard decided to take things forward, they both worried what this would mean working together. But it turned out, after taking that step, they never worked better.

Shepard leaned back, head against the wall of the shuttle, hearing the sound of the engine. It was music to her ears. At that moment, she felt at peace.

She was doing something worthwhile. Something that meant something.

It wasn't long before they arrived at the coordinates.

When the Kodiak was a few centimetres from the ground Shepard was the first to jump out.

Her armored boots touched the ground in the same way they had done countless times before. It elicited a feeling of belonging.

When she turned around and looked at James and Garrus, she gave them a nod, signalling that they should move forward.

The wind was howling loudly in her ears. Garrus and James were behind her, talking about something. She couldn't be sure what they were saying.

It wasn't long before she heard Ashley's voice in her ear, "Shepard it-"

Something cut Ashley's voice out. Shepard's hand acted on instinct and touched her ear, "Ashley?"

No answer.

"Williams?!" she tried. Harder this time.

Still no answer.

Shepard felt Garrus and James' questioning looks.

"That's never a good sign," James commented.

She ignored him and tried for Joker, but she couldn't get a hold of him either.

"Dammit!" Shepard said, when she realized what that meant.

"So we have no way of contacting the Normandy," Garrus' voice suggested no question. It was a conclusion.

"Seems like something is jamming the comms," James chimed in.

"That's our secondary objective then," Shepard pulled out her pistol. Her favourite one she got when her clone decided to steal her ship. "C'mon," she ordered. "We have a mission to do."

"Shepard," Garrus started. There was something hidden in his subvocals, though she couldn't be sure what exactly. Maybe hesitation? He continued, "What if this is a trap?"

"You think this is a trap?" she threw the question back.

"Shepard just hear me out," Garrus said, "Something is not right here. What if Liara-"

She cut him off already knowing where he was going with this. "I don't want to hear it Garrus," she snapped at him. "We have a mission. Chatting about it won't make a difference."

Shepard felt an uncomfortable silence spreading between them and stopped. James and Garrus did the same. When Shepard and Garrus' gaze locked, she spoke again, voice softer, calmer, "Look Garrus, we don't know what's going on. One step at a time, okay?"

"Got it, Commander," Garrus replied.

"There could be a number of reasons why we can't contact Joker or anyone for that matter."

Shepard couldn't help to feel that her words didn't make a difference, but she moved that to the side. The mission was her priority right now. She can worry about Garrus later.

James didn't breathe a word. Shepard knew he had his opinions but he kept it to himself.

Shepard couldn't slack right now. Her crew weren't the only ones that doubted she was ready for this. The council had their doubts as well.

After they debriefed her, they asked if she was up to it. If she was able to do the job. She assured them, persuade them that she was ready. If Shepard was good in anything, it was to persuade people.

Time and again it didn't just save other people's lives but hers as well.

But…she had to admit, even if it was only to herself, as time went by, as they searched abandoned building after abandoned building, she got the feeling that something wasn't right. That feeling was stuck to her bones. They were searching for something but this just seemed too easy.

No enemies.

Nothing lurked behind a dark corner.

Everything empty. It felt like her first mission with Cerberus all over again.

The silence was their only companion. That and the howling wind. By Earth standards, and even this city's standards, this was a cold day. And the night was starting to greet them with open arms.

As they went on, the uneasy feeling inside of Shepard just grew more and more. She could feel it in her bones. She had her assault rifle out. Feeling it in her hands helped her somehow. It made her feel more relaxed. This was where she belonged. In the field with her teammates.

They stopped before some sort of warehouse. Garrus and James stood opposite from each other on both sides of the door while Shepard bypassed it.

It was taking her a long time to get through.

Months ago, while they were still fighting the reapers, while they had to cling on to the little hope they had of defeating them, it reminded her of the times she went to see Liara. Her door always took it's sweet time to open as well.

Shepard blinked the images that flooded her mind away. It wasn't time to think of that right now.

She gave a look to Garrus and then to James. It was an unspoken look, but as their gazes each met with Shepard's they nodded in understanding. They all knew what the look had meant.

_Be ready for anything._

The door opened, each one of them a weapon in their hands, checking each corner, moving as quietly and quickly as they possibly could.

It was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop.

They split up, Shepard showed signals with her hands which part of the warehouse each one should take.

It wasn't long before they cleared the warehouse. Nobody was in sight. And all three of them looked for any evidence.

And one of them found something. "Uh, Commander," James said, "I think you should see this."

James studied the evidence in front of them.

There were food and weapons. A lot of them. Shepard would bet just about anything that it was what the council was looking for.

"So that's what we're looking for," Garrus commented, standing next to Shepard.

"Yeah," Shepard confirmed. It's as if…

It's almost as if it was displayed as some sort of gift," Garrus completed Shepard's thoughts.

"Shepard-" Garrus started, but Shepard stopped him with her finger.

"You guys hear that?" she asked.

Everyone went quiet. No one said anything or dared to move, and with it, they heard a ticking sound. Something was counting to something, and all three of them had a pretty good idea to what.

Garrus was the first to react, "Oh crap."

"Run! Now!" Shepard ordered, as all three of them made their way to the door.

The door was closed. Shepard knew she didn't lock it.

"I smell a trap, Commander," Garrus stated the obvious.

"Not now, Vakarian!" Shepard snapped as she tried to bypass the door. "Screw this! Everyone find a hiding place," when nobody moved she tried again. Louder this time. "Now! Unless all of you want to be blown into pieces."

They all moved in the same direction. Ran as fast as their feet could carry them.

"Over there!" James said as he saw a bunch of crates lying around.

"You think that's good enough Vega?" Shepard asked. Her question might've sounded harsh but right now wasn't the time to worry about that. Shepard didn't know how long it would be before there would be an explosion, and they needed the best place to find cover against it.

Shepard survived worse.

They'll all survive this.

Or it was what she hoped anyway. There was a shivering line of doubt, and it clouded her judgement.

Shepard couldn't be sure what it was.

Every mission she was under. Every time she put her armor on and strapped on her guns, she knew there was a chance that she may not walk out of this alive.

But there was something that ate at her and she couldn't be sure what it was.

Shepard had a secret to how her missions were successful. A rule might be a better term for it. _Never go on a mission angry. _Or when there was tension between teammates as was the case this time.

This time Shepard broke that rule, and now she might need to reap the consequences of that.

"You got a better idea, Commander?" James asked. It was a rhetorical question. They both knew Shepard didn't.

They slid under the crates and Shepard and Garrus stared at each other. Time slowed down, and Shepard didn't know if this was a now or never moment.

She really hoped it wasn't. But if it was…

So she took a deep breath and with it she scraped all of her courage together, "Garrus-"

"I know," Garrus said as he placed his talon on her hand and squeezed.

She looked into his blue eyes and she knew there was no more tension between them. She wasn't sure what happened at that moment but it all disappeared into thin air.

"Garrus," her tone was different. Steadier. "I-"

This time it wasn't Garrus who interrupted her. Neither was James.

This time an explosion did.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Who's behind the curtain?**

**Many thanks to Ripley95 for betaing.**

* * *

Shepard tried to open her eyes, but it felt like her eyelids were sealed with glue. It took all of her strength to get them open and when she finally did, the room was spinning.

Her ears were ringing as well and it took a while before she could hear like she used to.

Her memories were foggy, and it took her a while to remember how she got here. She heard something in the distance. Not something, someone calling her name.

When she saw Garrus in her sight her burrows furrowed. She tried to get up but failed.

"Take it easy Shepard," Garrus sounded calm. Not the voice of someone who was just in an explosion.

"I'm fine," her voice felt hoarse and sounded strange to her ears. "Where's Vega?"

"I don't know," Garrus answered honestly, "I'll look for him."

As Garrus left her, she tried to get up. Taking one step at a time, she tried. And then she felt something burning. It felt like fire against her one side. She groaned as she tried to look at it.

There was a tear in her suit and she turned her body to give it a look. By her standards, it didn't look that bad. She tried to get some medi-gel but something was wrong with her omni-tool and suit interface. No medi-gel was released into her body.

That could be a problem for later.

It might also mean her shields were destroyed or very badly damaged. That left Shepard in a vulnerable position.

Shepard never liked vulnerable positions.

She wasn't going to let that stop her, though.

"Vega?!" Garrus' voice made her snap her head to his direction.

Slowly but surely, she tried to stand up again. Her side with the wound made a protest with each movement, but she ignored it.

Her steps were faltering and the dizziness didn't leave her head yet. When she arrived at Garrus and James' side, she spoke, her voice still hoarse, "Need help?"

"Nah, Commander," James answered, "Garrus here is just helping me put some medi-gel on my shoulder."

James' shoulder was ripped open and was in serious need of some medi-gel. She just hoped his suit wasn't as badly damaged as hers.

"Alright, Vega," Garrus said once he was done, "You're good to go."

"Let's get out of here," Shepard ordered.

As they went ahead to investigate, they realized something. The warehouse was mostly intact. The explosion caused damage as was expected but not as much as Shepard or the others thought.

"They didn't want to kill us," James came to the same conclusion as Shepard.

"Yeah, that seems to be the case," she answered.

Shepard moved carefully, making sure to walk in a way that Garrus and James wouldn't know that she was injured. She knew that wouldn't be the case for very long though. They weren't idiots. They were soldiers on the field.

After searching for another way outside and utterly failing, the three of them stood in front of the door.

"You know they'll be waiting for us outside," Garrus stated. At this point, they didn't know who they were. It still could be Cerberus. Or someone else entirely.

Shepard activated her omni-tool and started to bypass the door again. Luckily, her omni-tool still functioned enough to open the door. "Yup. Counting on it."

"Please tell me you have an idea, Commander," James pleaded. Though there was doubt in his voice, wondering how they were getting out of this one.

"We'll see," she answered.

If Garrus and James gave her sceptical looks, she didn't see them. Focussing very hard on her omni-tool to open this door.

"Shepard…" she could hear the concern in Garrus' subharmonics. "You're hurt."

"I'm fine," she waved him off with her words. "Just a scratch."

"That's not just a scratch, Shepard," Garrus continued to protest.

"We don't have time, Garrus!" she snapped at him. "We have to get out of here!"

For the second time, it felt like the door took a lifetime to open. But…when it finally did, it felt like Shepard's heart had stopped. She could hear her breathing slowing down. The suspense of who could possibly be behind this door weighed on them like a heavy fog.

And none of them could see through the fog clearly.

Her hands went out to her pistol. Her side where she got injured didn't particularly agree with her movements. With her side hurting like it did, her pistol would be more comfortable to use. Feeling the grip of the pistol reassured her in a way.

There was just something that made her feel safe and at home when she had a weapon of some sort with her. There was no other feeling in the galaxy that came close to this one.

She was lucky, really, that she could still use it. Or more acutely it looked like she could use it. She hasn't pointed and shot anything yet. That'll be the real test.

The door made a swooshing sound as it finally opened… until it stopped. Probably damaged by the small-yet-big-enough-to-make-damage-explosion. Shepard moved closer, but before she could reach the door, Garrus and James were there. Each on opposite sides, pushing the door open with all of their strength.

Shepard gave them both a strong glance before speaking, "One of you move."

"Not going to happen, Commander," Garrus said, trying to stand his ground.

"Vega, move!" Shepard ordered. She raised her voice more than she intended to.

"Lieutenant, stay!" Garrus ordered back, though he had no authority to do so.

Shepard took a breath to say something, but before the breath came out, Garrus continued.

"Shepard, you said it yourself. We have to get out of here. You're wasting time," Garrus spoke his thoughts. Shepard opened her jaw but shut it again, as she realized it would be pointless to debate this. They've already wasted enough time as it was.

"Alright," she said in a low and soft tone, "Let's do this."

She heard a grunt here and there that could only have come from James, and the door moved slowly to open once again.

Shepard went through first, both hands clenching her pistol. She didn't have to look very far to see the source of the trap.

Before reacting she tried to help James and Garrus as best as she could to get them both outside.

"Yup, that's Cerberus," James said as they approached them. By this time, both he and Garrus had their weapons out.

As they came closer and closer to the group of Cerberus soldiers, she saw a few civilians too. One of which was a girl that Shepard recognized.

Shepard's nostrils flared. How dare they involve civilians?

Just like that, she thought of a memory that occurred when they still fought the reapers.

* * *

Shepard and Garrus were walking. They just came back from a shooting competition. Garrus said it violated so many C-Sec regulations, but he couldn't care less, and to be honest Shepard felt the same way.

How was it possible that something might seem important years ago, but one day it just didn't matter anymore? That's one of the things that was caused by this reaper war. It took away important things to people. Not only loved ones and friends but their lifestyles as well.

Garrus was still bragging, because of his win. In return, Shepard only gave a small chuckle and shook her head. Garrus only won this because she let him win it, and his reaction was definitely worth it.

Winning some shooting competition between her and Garrus wouldn't make her happy. It wouldn't change a thing. So Shepard saw no point in doing it.

Seeing Garrus like this, though, that made her happy, and if she could go back, she would've done the exact same thing.

Shepard stopped as she saw a human girl sitting alone on a bench. She was crying. Her hands covered her face and her body shook as Shepard was sure the tears were flowing freely from her eyes.

This girl couldn't care less if anyone saw her crying out in the public. She was hurting. Shepard only needed to give her one look to know she was affected by this war. And she was alone dealing with this.

"Shepard?" Garrus questioned. Unsure what Shepard was looking at or why she had stopped.

Her hand grabbed Garrus' arm as a form of reassurance, "I'll be back, okay? Just wait here."

Shepard didn't wait for Garrus' reply before she approached the girl.

She sat down slowly and softly, being careful not to disturb the girl grieving.

But the girl noticed her and placed her tear-stained hands on her lap. Her eyes were red from all the crying. When their gazes met, there was something that Shepard recognized in her eyes. It reminded Shepard of a 16-year old version of herself.

"You want to talk about it?" Shepard started, though she was pretty sure the girl wouldn't want to tell her anything. Shepard was a stranger to her after all.

The girl wiped her tears off. "There's nothing to talk about."

Her answer didn't surprise Shepard at all. It was exactly the way Shepard would've reacted years ago as well.

Shepard decided to change tactics. "I'm Shepard. What's your name?"

The girl's eyes widened twice their size as realization hit her. She almost jumped off the bench. "You're Shepard? Like _the_ Commander Shepard."

Shepard let out a short chuckle, "That's me. Just call me Shepard."

"Oh," the girl seemed surprised, then she added quickly, "I'm Avery," as if she lost her train of thought and had to remember what she wanted to say.

"Nice to meet you, Avery," Shepard offered a smile. It was her way to try and reassure her. "You know," Shepard continued, "it's okay to admit when you're sad. This war caused a lot of damage and a lot of pain. Sometimes it's better to talk about it."

"I guess so," Avery sounded unsure, but with it, there was a hint of sadness. "I…I don't want to bother you. You must be really busy."

She placed her hand on Avery's and squeezed, "You aren't bothering me. I'm on shore leave." Shepard threw a look at Garrus, "Sometimes we all need a little break from everything."

"Yeah…"

When Avery didn't say anything else, Shepard decided to take another method. "Are you staying on the Citadel?"

Avery's eyes started to get watery. She tried to keep the tears in, but one or two slipped, falling slowly down her cheeks. More tears came and it wasn't long before she started to sob again. "I…" she tried to say in between breaths but struggled. "I'm sor…"

"Look at me," Shepard tried to get her attention. "Deep breaths."

Shepard and Avery counted together slowly, "1, 2, 3."

"Okay, breathe," Shepard went on, giving Avery instructions. "Then when you're ready, speak."

After a few moments, Avery continued. Not having so much trouble to speak then, "I live at the docks with a family that took me in. They're nice but," she took a deep breath trying to stop more tears. This time she succeeded. "It's not the same."

Avery must've been talking about the docking bay where the refugees lived. Shepard nodded signalling her to go on.

"I lost my mom and dad on Earth. I was in Vancouver when the reapers hit." Her gaze went to the ground. "I don't think they survived. All the reports… It's not good news."

"Do you have any other family?" Shepard inquired.

"My older brother. He's on Earth fighting," Avery said. She waited a moment, carefully considering her words. "Since I've been on the Citadel, I haven't heard anything of him."

"I know that this war has taken a lot away from people. I won't lie." It wouldn't help to give this girl false hope. Shepard didn't believe she would have wanted it after she was rescued from Mindoir, and she didn't think Avery would want it now. "We don't know everything, and I can't promise you that your family is alive or dead, but if you want my help, we can find out together."

So that's what they did. Shepard tried her best to find out what happened to Avery's family, but…there was no news. It didn't surprise Shepard in the least.

Luckily, it wasn't all bad news. Her brother was fighting the war back on Earth. It took some time and Anderson told Shepard that it's a possibility that the news might not be so good, but he was alive.

When Shepard gave the news to Avery, she was crying. This time not because she was heartbroken or grieving. This time she was crying because she found some good news.

Shepard could see it in Avery's eyes that she could barely believe her brother was alive. She assured Avery that if she ever needed anything, she shouldn't hesitate to contact her.

Shepard's only hope was that Avery would survive this war.

* * *

Shepard wasn't sure if Avery had survived the reaper war. She was glad to see her, but seeing her here with none other than Cerberus didn't exactly make her heart sing.

There was a void in her heart. Shepard felt like she let Avery down in some way. What would Cerberus want with her?

Did she have information?

Maybe some special ability?

Shepard's mind raced. She was flooded with more and more questions. None of which she had the answers to.

"Weapons. If you don't mind, Commander," one of the men in Cerberus armor said.

It seemed like he was the leader of the bunch. Nothing changed with their armor. The same colours, the same Cerberus crap it always has been. He had a black breather mask on, just like the others.

There was no reason why they needed their masks. The air wasn't toxic. It almost felt like they didn't want anyone to know who they are. Or more specifically what they looked like.

"I think I'll keep my weapons," she said with a hint of a smirk. "I know a trap when I see it."

She could feel Garrus' gaze change. She only hoped that the Cerberus soldiers didn't notice anything. Not that it would change anything.

The Cerberus leader pretended to study Shepard deeply and then looked at one of the other soldiers, "Bring her," he ordered.

The soldier gave a firm nod and went to Avery's direction. He pulled her arm violently and ordered her to go.

The Cerberus leader took Avery from the soldier and placed his pistol on her temple, "I insist Commander."

Reading his body language wouldn't be so easy with his breather masks on, but Shepard would bet all the credits in the Galaxy that he was serious about that. When Cerberus turns their own people into husks what was collateral damage to them? And that was exactly what Avery was.

Was that why she was here? Making things easier for them? Having a hostage that Shepard wouldn't sacrifice just so that she can have their weapons.

And if Cerberus didn't want to kill them, what did they want?

Cerberus didn't like fair fights. It seemed like Shepard was right. Nothing changed with them.

Her stomach twisted and turned as she was engulfed with guilt. She should've made sure Cerberus was destroyed properly. That there were no cells of them left anymore.

Now Avery was in danger and it was Shepard's fault.

But there was a war back then, and it needed to be stopped. It was more important to make sure there was nothing left of Cerberus at all. They were a secondary threat.

"Do as he says," Shepard ordered Garrus and James while she dropped hers.

Shepard always carried a lot of weapons. While Garrus and James swiftly dropped theirs it took longer for Shepard to drop hers.

Biotics didn't usually carry a lot of weapons, but Shepard didn't like to depend on hers. She liked to feel the weight of a gun between her hands. The feeling of firing a perfect shot.

"Your omni-tool as well."

When Shepard gave him a questioning look, he continued, "You know, for your omni-blade."

Shepard gave a deep sigh and loosened her omni-tool from her arm, her eyes never leaving the sight of the Cerberus leader as she dropped it on the ground.

The air was full of tension until Avery began to laugh, followed by the Cerberus leader. It wasn't the type of laugh one would laugh after hearing a funny joke. It was wicked. Almost evil.

It surprised Shepard. Not the Cerberus leader's laugh but Avery's laugh. It was like Avery had a mask of her own on this entire time and finally decided to pull it off. Shepard was seeing the real Avery. And it didn't only shock Shepard. She could feel the shocked expressions of Garrus and James' as well.

"You were right," the Cerberus leader said. Not looking away from Shepard. "She fell for it."

"Told ya," Avery bragged. Sounding very proud of herself.

Shepard nodded slowly as everything began to sink in, "Cerberus? Really, Avery?"

Shepard didn't only ask to buy them time, or to see if there was a way out of this situation. She genuinely wanted to know why Avery would betray her like that.

"My brother died protecting Earth. And for what?" Avery was angry. It was clearly visible in her tone. "Just look what's going on."

"The council-"

"Screw them," Avery said. "Shep, you're on your high horse. You don't see what's happening. They don't care. Things won't get any better."

This war changed Avery. She was harder. And though Avery lost people, she was never this angry. Something deep happened to her and it was more than losing the only family member she had left.

"Cerberus is better?" Shepard asked in disbelief. "Do you even know what they do to their own people?"

"That was before, in the war. They did it to survive." Avery said, believing the lies of Cerberus. "People need to be led by Cerberus."

That's the worst idea I've heard since the war ended," Shepard said. "You do not want to live in that reality."

"It might sound like it right now, but you'll see, Shepard."

Something about her tone wasn't right and Shepard needed to know. "What the hell are you talking about?" she inquired.

"You'll come with us. Your friends," Avery made a gesture to James and Garrus, "will stay. They can go back to your ship."

"Walk away, Avery. There won't be any consequences. You won't be arrested. But this," Shepard warned, "is your only free card. Your only opportunity to do so."

"The Commander isn't going anywhere," James stepped forward. "You'll need to go through us."

Avery smirked, "I'm afraid you're going to lose."

Shepard wasn't stupid. What they needed was a distraction.

James and Avery continued to talk and Shepard couldn't be sure if this was a tactic of James trying to buy some time.

If Shepard had known that this mission would turn out the way it did, she might've brought Tali with her. Even if they get a way out of here, they still needed to find a way to connect with the Normandy again.

She felt Garrus' talon in her hand. She looked down. He was signalling her. She recognized it, and nodded. Shepard hoped Avery wouldn't realize it, but she knew it was too good to hope for.

"Stop that!" Avery snapped. "Enough talk. We've wasted enough time."

Shepard moved quickly, "Garrus, now! Vega, duck!" she ordered.

As Shepard suspected, Avery and every Cerberus soldier was caught off guard. Garrus threw his grenade.

Shepard, Garrus, and James moved as quickly as they could.

The grenade went off.

* * *

For the second time this day Shepard's ears rang. They knew they needed to move quickly. This grenade was only meant as a distraction nothing else.

It took some time, but they were up and moving into hiding.

The explosion was enough to distract Cerberus.

"C'mon!" Shepard ordered. "We don't know how long we have."

Shepard heard some commotion over where Cerberus was. Some of them were getting ready to get up again.

"What's the plan, Commander?" Garrus asked.

"We need to get the comms back online."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Not Out of the Woods Yet**

**Notes:**

**Many thanks to Ripley95 for betaing.**

* * *

"Shepard, have you even put medi-gel on that," Garrus asked as he eyed her side.

Their escape worked. The grenade did its part. Now it was time that Shepard did hers.

One of their problems could be solved when they encounter Cerberus troops but unlucky for them they needed to kill them without any weapons.

"Quiet!" Shepard whispered. "Do you hear that?"

Garrus and James did as they were ordered. All three of them went down, going low to the ground. Shepard took longer to do so. She did her best not to groan as her side protested, begging her to stop.

But she couldn't afford to listen to it.

"You heard the boss," a man said. If Shepard had to guess, she would say it's Cerberus.

"Yeah, he sounded pissed," the second guy answered.

"Well, because his girl got hurt," the first man said. He sounded irritated. "Now he wants their blood."

Shepard closed her eyes as the news sunk in. Avery was hurt. The words cutting through her heart like a knife. If Avery would die because of Shepard's actions she wouldn't be sure if she'd be able to forgive herself.

"Shepard shook her head, trying to get the thoughts out somehow. If only that would work.

"C'mon we need to take them out," she whispered.

Garrus and James nodded in agreement.

They moved as softly as possible. Shepard was sure she wasn't as quiet as she could be however, and…she was right.

"Hey! You!" the one Cerberus soldier said as he recognized the damaged N7 armor.

Shepard didn't give him a chance to speak another word and charged into him. That was not a good idea. Pain blazed through her side.

Just as she wanted to pick his weapon up, she was thrown. One of the Cerberus soldiers must've been a biotic.

"Commander!" someone shouted. Maybe James? Shepard couldn't be sure.

_I'm fine_, Shepard wanted to say but the words wouldn't leave her lips. Breathing was hard too. Something was very wrong. It hurt. And this time it didn't come from her side. Being thrown to a crate would probably do that.

_Deep breaths. Deep breaths._

But that was easier said than done. It took a couple of tries to get up again.

"Take this," when Shepard looked, she saw who the voice belonged too. It was Garrus. In his talon was a pistol.

"Thanks," she took the pistol from him gratefully. When he held his talon out she didn't accept it. "I can get up by myself."

For support, she pressed her one hand on a crate, moving slowly and finally standing up. "See," she said.

"Alright, Shepard." He turned around to look at the combat, but only for a second or two. "We should get out there," she could hear the concern in his subvocals.

The rest of the combat dragged on. At least that was what it felt like. Shepard was sore. She was tired. Mainly depending on her biotics. She hated that.

A long time ago, she made a silent promise to herself to never solely depend on her biotics. Right now she broke that promise.

"All clear," she heard Garrus say. She was sure he said something else, but she didn't hear what.

She was dizzy, her head spinning. Her ears ringing. Breathing was still difficult.

"Search the bodies," she ordered. Her words stumbling. Did she say it louder than she usually does? She couldn't be sure.

Hands and talons search the bodies. They found a couple of omni-tools, but many of them didn't have enough medi-gel.

Hands that shook Shepard activated an omni-tool on her arm. She struggled but finally, it was on and in working condition.

Two. It had Two medi-gels. That was…not a lot. As much pain Shepard was in, she couldn't afford to spend medi-gel needlessly. She was pretty sure a rib or two were broken. But this felt worse than that.

"How many?" Shepard asked no one in particular.

Garrus and James knew exactly what she meant. "I got one," James answered first.

"I got two," Garrus said.

"Five medi-gels wasn't what I expected from a dozen Cerberus soldiers," Shepard said with a sigh. She immediately regretted leaving a sigh. A sharp pain shot through her ribs.

"Shepard, take one," Garrus said.

"No. We'll need it later," she denied the medi-gel.

"Shepard," Garrus wasn't going to take no for an answer. "It looks like you could pass out any minute. And as you humans say, you look as white as a sheet."

"I-"

Shepard began to cough rapidly. She couldn't stop coughing. Her head felt hot and continued to spin.

Her hands and knees were on the ground.

_When did I get on the ground?_

"Shepard," she felt someone's hand or talon on her back.

When the coughing stopped, she touched her gloved hand to her lips and looked to see a red sheen staining her fingertips. This caused her to look down. The ground was stained with droplets of blood.

"I'm with Vakarian here," James said when he came to her side. Which meant Garrus had his talon on her back. Was it some way he wanted to give her assurance? Assurance of what? "You need that medi-gel Commander," James continued.

Slowly, she got up again, "I can't. There's only five left. They're looking for us."

"Clearly something is wrong, Shepard," Garrus made his point. "You can't move like this."

Shepard tried to weigh her options in her head, but there was no way she could counter Garrus' point. With every comeback he'll have one as well. "Okay," she finally said.

The three of them moved near to the crates where Shepard was pushed into.

"Sit," Garrus ordered this time.

Shepard did as she was told. Exhaustion hit her hard when she sat on the ground. Garrus helped her with the medi-gel while James kept watch.

Her eyelids felt too heavy and there was nothing she wanted to do more than fall asleep. She missed her bed on the Normany. Nice. Soft. Just perfect. If she could just…

"Shepard!" someone's voice jerked her awake. She had fallen asleep.

When did that happen?

"I need you to stay with me," it was Garrus. Still working on her.

"Sorry."

Garrus sighed. "You need a doctor. Medi-gel won't fix it. It'll only be a temporary solution."

Shepard narrowed her eyes, "I'll be fine."

"Okay, Shepard," Garrus stopped his gaze fixed on Shepard. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," Shepard turned her head to avoid his gaze.

"What did you say that one time to me," Garrus' words made her shift her gaze to him. He was pretending to think. "Ah. You said 'I wasn't born yesterday', and before you say anything, we have time."

Shepard fiddled with her hands on her lap, "I wish you didn't throw a grenade at her."

Garrus' mouth plates turned into a frown, "What did you expect me to do Shepard?" It was a rhetorical question. "They wanted you. Why, I'm not sure, but we can find out later."

"I could've talked her down."

Garrus' talon touched her hand but she slapped it away, "Shepard? You're mad?"

"She's hurt Garrus."

"You don't know that."

"One of the Cerberus men. He said…" she closed her eyes slowly before continuing. "He said she's hurt, and the boss wants our blood. What else does that mean?"

"That's not your fault."

"She changed, Garrus. I don't know what happened. That wasn't the same Avery I talked to on _that_ bench," her words flowed freely from her lips.

"It's this war. It changed us all. Even you, Shepard."

She looked at him as if he said the craziest thing in the Galaxy, "I didn't. I'm the same person."

"That's a lie," Garrus countered. "We all changed. It's not a bad thing."

Shepard didn't know if she believed him or not, but it didn't matter. "Are you done?" she asked instead.

"Let me just take a look at your side." He moved to her side and when he spoke again, she could hear how shocked he was in his subvocals. "Uh…Vega. Come look here," his voice carried and it was loud enough for James to hear.

James came back from wherever he was and looked at it. His expression looked as bad as Garrus'.

"C'mon it's not that bad," Shepard protested.

"I'm not certain how wounds should look." His gaze went to James, "That's why I called Vega over here. I think this might get infected. Why didn't you put medi-gel on it sooner?"

Shepard shrugged, "Something was wrong with my omni-tool and suit interface."

"Don't you think you should've told us sooner?" Shepard was pretty sure from the sound of Garrus' voice that he was angry. "Me or hell, even Vega could've given you some medi-gel."

"It was a trap, Garrus. We couldn't have been sure if we might need that later."

"You guys," James started. Shepard heard the hesitation and she was pretty sure Garrus could've heard it as well. "We need to get going."

"Just giving the Commander some medi-gel." Garrus' gaze never left Shepard's wound.

"Garrus," she grabbed his talon to stop him. "Just one."

It looked like Garrus wanted to protest, but decided to keep it to himself, "Alright. Just one," he agreed.

As the medi-gel did its work, Shepard felt some relief, but she knew it wouldn't last for long. Breathing still wasn't normal but, it was at least better.

She wanted to close her eyes, only for a minute, but she knew she couldn't, "Let's go", she said as she got up easier this time.

* * *

Shepard was starting to run out of ideas.

"Maybe this one is the place," James suggested.

At this point, she'll try anything. Looking over his shoulder, she saw what he was pointing at on his omni-tool that he took from a soldier's body, "It's definitely worth a shot."

"We're running out of options, Commander," Garrus said. "The Cerberus leader could be nearing us any second."

"Hell, Garrus. If they were, they must've found us already." All three of them knew Shepard was right about that.

"So, question," James started awkwardly, "once the comms are online, how are we going to contact the Normandy? Since, you know, these aren't actually our omni-tools."

"We need a code and frequency number," Shepard said as if it were no problem at all.

"Yeah," James rubbed the back of his head awkwardly, "But how do we get them?"

"I have it."

"You wrote it somewhere, Commander?" James asked, in disbelief. "You're hiding a datapad somewhere?" he joked.

"No," she answered, being serious. "I have a photographic memory."

James' jaw almost fell to the ground. "I'm sorry, you have a what?"

Shepard shrugged not seeing the big deal, "Yeah. It's not a big deal."

"How come I'm only finding out about it now!?"

Shepard didn't tell everybody about her photographic memory. It wasn't something she was particularly proud of. In truth, she was ashamed of it. It was something nobody understood. She didn't want to share her reasons. Although Garrus knew about her photographic memory, he didn't even know why she disliked it as much as she did.

"Because most people don't know," the answer left her lips. It was an answer that she always gave when someone asked her that.

"Well, that can be pretty useful."

Not long afterward, Shepard could feel the medi-gel fading away. Her head felt hot again. Dizziness overwhelmed her. The edges of her vision got darker. And then the coughing started again. When she removed her gloved hand from her mouth it was red-stained again.

"Are you okay?" she could hear the concern in Garrus' subvocals.

"Yeah. Let's keep going."

"Well that looks like it could be the place," Garrus said once they arrived at their destination.

Someone clapped their hands. First slowly and then faster. It was like one of those vids Shepard used to watch when she was younger. When her mother and father were still alive.

_The hero falling in the villain's trap._

_Was this what it was?_

Shepard was the first one to turn around.

"Congratulations, Commander Shepard," the Cerberus leader mocked her. He still had his mask on. No damage was done to his suit.

Shepard's eyes were searching, but when they didn't found what they were looking for, she started to speak, "Where's Avery?"

The Cerberus leader's gloved hands balled up in fists. If his armor wasn't in the way, she was sure she could see his tensed shoulder. He was mad.

"She's hurt. And It's your fault!" he snapped. With every word, his voice went louder and louder. "You better hope she survives this. Because if she doesn't…" he trailed off. He got too emotional.

Big mistake. Never get emotional on a mission. It can cost you a lot.

It also meant that she was right.

_Dammit, Avery is hurt and it's my fault._

Shepard couldn't let this get to her. The mission comes first.

"Avery chose the wrong side," Shepard's gaze held his. "You left me no choice."

"You," he pointed a finger towards her, "did this!" he repeated. He was angry. Almost shouting at Shepard.

This made the other Cerberus soldiers unsteady.

"No," Shepard said. Voice steady, almost cold to her own ears.

A soldier's hand touched his shoulder. Angrily, he turned around. Shouting something at the soldier. Shepard didn't pay attention. He was distracted. This was what she needed.

"Now!" she ordered.

Guns blazing at the Cerberus soldiers. They were caught off guard. They were stupid.

Always pay attention.

They finished them off one by one.

Shepard made turn between her biotics and pistol.

Each time she fired her pistol and used her biotics, she wanted to let out a groan. It hurt, and each movement added to her pain.

Shepard's focus was back at the fight ahead. When she saw an opening, she shouted to no one in particular, "Cover me!"

When Shepard was at the right distance, she charged right into the Cerberus leader. If she could take him out, then they could end this.

But… it wasn't so simple. Just as she wanted to get her omni-blade out, she felt something puncture her skin. Her blood ran cold. She lost her balance.

She reversed and stumbled onto the ground. Her pistol fell.

Adrenaline was simply amazing. If it wasn't for adrenaline, then Shepard wouldn't have made it as far as she did. With all her strength, she stretched her arm out until she felt her gun.

As the Cerberus leader came closer, she shot him until he collapsed next to her.

Shepard breathed hard. When she looked down, she saw she was bleeding from her abdomen.

Just as she wanted to investigate, she saw Garrus approaching, "Shepard! You're bleeding."

"Yeah…" her words struggled. "I know," she was too tired to speak louder.

"Let me check," Garrus said. Shepard was too damn tired to protest.

Apparently, the now dead Cerberus leader stabbed her with his omni-blade in her stomach. She could feel the blood leaving her body. She got more and more pale by the second. As Garrus went to investigate she winced. She held back a curse.

Garrus let out a sigh.

"That bad, huh?" she replied to his sigh.

"We need to get you out of here, Shepard." She could hear the seriousness in his voice.

"I'll be fine." It was her way to try and to reassure him. They had no way out.

"I'm serious, Shepard." Garrus tapped rapidly at his omni-tool, "You need medi-gel."

"No," it was barely audible and she wouldn't be surprised if Garrus didn't hear it.

"You need it!" he insisted.

Shepard wanted to say something, but she had no energy to do so. She couldn't keep her eyelids open anymore.

Eyes blinking. Slower each time. Until it was too hard to open them up again.

"Stay with me. Don't fall asleep," Garrus' voice woke her.

"I'm so tired, Garrus. Just let me sleep."

He stared at her for a second and then administered some medi-gel.

"Look," his gaze shifted from her new wound to look at her. With time, she was able to read Garrus better. His mandibles were tight. He was worrying. And not only because of her. "You need to get the comms online. Otherwise, we're not going anywhere. Finish up so that we can get the hell out of here."

Garrus shook his head determinedly, "I'm not leaving you behind."

Shepard placed her cold hand in his talon, "You have to. It's the only way we can get out of here."

"I need that brain of yours, Shepard."

Garrus was talking about the code and frequency number. Even in her tired state, Shepard knew he was right. But she also knew she was right as well. With her, she'll only slow them down.

"Then come back," she ordered though there was no strength in her voice left.

"Aye Aye, Commander." Garrus looked towards James, "Stay with her," he ordered.

* * *

Shepard moved in and out of consciousness. Every time she woke up, she saw James throwing her a worrying glance.

"Don't worry, Commander we'll get out of here," James said when she regained consciousness again.

She wasn't sure if she believed him. Garrus and James might, but right now, Shepard was just dead weight. Even sitting still, the pain hadn't gone away yet. She kept coughing. And she knew there was more damage done to her than any of them knew. This wasn't just broken ribs. The stabbing only made things worse.

_In. Out. In. Out._

Shepard wasn't sure how much time had passed. It felt like a lifetime when she saw Garrus' blurry figure again.

"You have to hurry up," James said. "The Commander isn't looking so good. I'm not sure if that medi-gel did any good."

In a way, she agreed with James, but deep inside she knew it must've helped. If only for a little bit.

"Shepard!" Garrus' voice almost sounded like an alarm. "I need you to wake up."

"I am awake you idiot," Shepard said. Her voice was groggy and she wasn't sure if it carried the weight she intended it to.

It didn't ease Garrus' expression at all. "Please," he begged, "I need you to focus, okay?"

"I…I don't know if my brain can work right now." She answered honestly. "I can't think straight, Garrus."

"Give the Commander more medi-gel," James suggested.

Garrus nodded in agreement and inserted more medi-gel. This time Shepard felt no relief at all.

"Garrus," she said grabbing his talon with the strongest grip she could possibly muster. "It's not working."

"Just give it some time."

"It's not working!" she shouted. "I…" her voice trailed off as sleep began to take over again.

"Shepard! Focus!" this time Garrus shouted. "You feel that?" this time his grip on her hand tightened.

She gave a weak nod.

"Just take a deep breath and try," Garrus said. "I need that brain of yours."

Shepard closed her eyes and although it hurt like hell she took a deep breath. "Okay," she said as she opened her eyes. "Frequency number is 54390613796."

* * *

Garrus typed in the numbers as Shepard said them out loud. It wasn't long before a voice came from the omni-tool. A voice that could only belong to Ashley.

"Who the hell are you? And how did you get this frequency number?"

"It's me, Williams."

There was a hesitation on her side, "Garrus?" she gasped. "If it's you, give me the code."

"Shepard give them the code," Garrus asked.

But there was no response.

_Don't do this to me, Shepard._

"Shepard!"

That got her to respond. She slowly opened her eyes, but didn't say a word.

"I need you to give them the code. Then we can go home," Garrus tried.

"Home…" she repeated dreamily as she was on the verge of losing consciousness again.

No voice came through his omni-tool, he only hoped that wouldn't mean that he lost Ashley again. That would be…bad timing. Everything else hadn't exactly gone to plan. Why would this?

"Yes. Please Shepard," he begged again.

Shepard blinked her weary eyes a couple of times. "The code is 87546231-BETA-97623."

Garrus' mouth plates turned into a smile. Now they could leave this place and Shepard could get the help she needed.

"Damn," Ashley said as she confirmed the code. "It's good to hear your voice."

Garrus didn't send pleasantries back, "Shepard needs help, Williams. I'll send the coordinates. Tell Joker to come immediately."

Ashley wasted no time, "You got it."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Hunting empty answers**

**Notes:**

**Many thanks to Ripley95 for betaing.**

**I apologize for the late chapter, I got a bit behind schedule. I do hope everyone will enjoy this last chapter.**

* * *

Shepard heard two sets of voices. It sounded like they spoke in water. She couldn't understand a word and she was too tired to open her eyes.

"They'll be here soon," she heard more clearly this time. She was pretty sure it was Garrus who spoke. With the voice, she felt a talon graze her skin, but she didn't even have the energy to move her hand.

Being awake meant she would have to acknowledge the ache in her chest. Every breath cutting a knife through her ribcage.

Shepard moved in and out of consciousness and every time she was awake again Garrus' reassuring words came with it.

"Just hold on."

"Don't give up on me."

She wished he would stop.

_Sleep_. That was the only thing that gave her relief. Not words.

The next time she opened her eyes she laid on the hard floor. The floor wasn't particularly cold but it wasn't exactly comfortable either. She could feel an engine humming. When she tried to look around she saw Chakwas above her head. Her omni-tool was activated and moved up and down as she scanned Shepard.

Confused, Shepard frowned. Not being sure where she was or how she got there.

Chakwas let out a hard sigh, "This doesn't look good." If her voice didn't portray how worried she was, her expression definitely did. "We need to get her back to base. There's a hospital nearby we can take her to."

"Chakwas?" Shepard asked. Immediately, she felt a few faces look at her but chose to ignore it. "What…" Shepard winced as she felt a sharp pain shooting through her stomach. It was like someone stabbed her again and again. "What are you doing here?" she tried again.

"Take it easy, Commander. You're on the Kodiak," Chakwas tried to reassure her.

Shepard blinked her eyes a couple of times. She needed to make sure that this was real and not a hallucination. But she was too tired to do that.

"You should try to relax, Commander," Chakwas continued when Shepard didn't say anything. "We'll be there soon," she placed her warm hand on Shepard's.

Shepard nodded tiredly, "Okay." It was all she had energy for.

* * *

Miranda was walking in a long corridor. The walls were white and with each step she could hear her heels making a clicking sound. The more she walked, the more the corridor smelled like a hospital.

The smell made her think of the times she worked on Shepard. When she was trying to save her. That was a lifetime ago, and look where they were now.

She walked up to the counter in the waiting area. Omni-tools that never stopped chirping. The receptionist kept apologizing. And if Miranda wasn't in such a hurry she would've understood.

After answering yet another call, the receptionist took a big breath and with it all of her courage before speaking with Miranda. "Sorry about that," she apologized again with a fake smile. "How can I help?"

Everything about this receptionist was fake. Her smile. Her kindness. Even her voice. It was starting to irritate Miranda. She pushed the thought aside. There were more important things on her mind. "I'm here to see Commander Shepard."

"Name?"

Miranda assumed she was asking her name but that was a little odd. "Miranda Lawson."

The receptionist focused on her terminal. Hands flying to find some sort of information. Miranda hoped it was to see which room Shepard was in.

"Hmm…" she said, biting her lower lip in concentration. "I'm sorry, but you are not permitted to see Commander Shepard."

Miranda was starting to lose her patience, "Why the hell not?"

"I'm not allowed to give that information out," the receptionist was still calm. Miranda had no idea how that was even possible.

"I'll find her myself," Miranda snapped, turning her back to leave.

Miranda heard a chair scraping the floor, "I'm afraid I will need to ask you to leave." When Miranda turned around she realized it was the receptionist that spoke.

"Why?" she demanded. "Am I not allowed to walk the hospital floors?"

"If you refuse I'll be forced to call security."

"Fine, I'll go." Miranda started to walk the other direction.

When she was outside of the hospital, she called Ashley. She didn't pick up. "Dammit!" With it she got a few stares but Miranda didn't care.

She decided to try again. This time it wasn't long before Ashley answered. "What the hell, Ashley?" Miranda didn't even bother to greet her properly.

"Uh…sorry?" a confused voice spoke in her comms. There was grogginess in her voice.

"They won't let me see Shepard. I was almost escorted by the damn security," Miranda raised her voice. She knew Ashley would pick up on her anger.

"Damn," Ashley must've realized something. "Your name isn't on the list. I completely forgot to add it." Ashley sounded like someone who had too much on her plate.

This only confused Miranda even more. "List? What list?"

The other women sighed audibly, "Meet me at the receptionist. We can talk when we're in Shepard's room." With that, Ashley cut the feed.

Miranda went inside once again. This time her heels clicked faster as she made her way to the receptionist desk.

Ashley was already at the desk when Miranda arrived. When the receptionist recognized her, her eyes widened twice its size. "I thought-"

"She's with me," Ashley corrected her. "Put Miranda Lawson on the list."

"Sure thing, Spectre," the receptionist said with an apologetic smile.

"Come with me," Ashley said tiredly.

Miranda and Ashley didn't say a word to each other until they arrived in Shepard's room. Outside the room, a couple of security guards stood outside and both she and Ashley needed to give them their credentials. The unconscious form of Shepard laid in a hospital bed. Shepard didn't move a muscle. She was connected to a couple of machines and tubes.

"You want to tell me what the hell is going on?!" Miranda demanded information out of Ashley.

"Ms. Lawson, just calm down."

Miranda's only answer was to cross her arms across her chest. Her one foot was tapping impatiently.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Ashley rubbed her temple. "As you can see, it was chaos."

"Damn," Miranda said as she connected the dots. "Something happened on the last mission, didn't it?"

"Yeah," Ashley said as her gaze shifted towards Shepard. "Cerberus is back. Or well, that's what it looks like."

"You're not sure?" Somehow Miranda wasn't at all surprised that they were back. It wouldn't be so easy to destroy them.

"We're not sure if it's just cells that are broken up." Ashley corrected her. "There were a couple of civilians with them. There was one named Avery. Shepard knew her.

"Knew?" Miranda caught the meaning of the word. Or at least she thought she did.

"We believe she was injured," Ashley explained. "Garrus threw a grenade. Apparently, Avery was injured. We don't know if she's alive or not. When the Alliance combed the area, we couldn't find her. We did find her blood though."

"So what? This was a trap?" Miranda's mind was working, trying to do something with all this information.

"Yes. They wanted Shepard, and they wanted her alive." Ashley looked at Miranda. Miranda could see the signs of mistrust. Expecting her to betray them. "You wouldn't know why,would you?"

Miranda should've expected this. After all, didn't Ashley expect Shepard to betray her after Shepard worked for Cerberus? But that didn't mean this lessened Miranda's anger. "How the hell should I know? I don't work for them anymore."

"You sure about that?" Ashley continued to accuse Miranda.

"What's your problem?" Miranda asked Ashley with disbelief in her eyes. "Did you just want me to come here so that you can accuse me?"

It looked like Ashley realized her mistake. With a gloved hand, she rubbed her weary eyes. Trying to rub the guilt away. "No, I'm sorry. We just need some answers," Ashley explained.

"Look," Miranda started, "There are hundreds of reasons why they would want Shepard. For now, I'll suggest finding this _Avery _person."

"Yeah. Problem is, nobody knows anything about her."

That was a problem. She surely couldn't be a ghost. Someone must know something about her. "No one?" she asked. "That's unlikely."

"Garrus only met her once or twice," Ashley informed her. "The only person that knows anything about her is Shepard."

That could be a problem. "And she's unconscious. We have to wait for her to wake up," Miranda said. While they were biding their time for Shepard to wake up, Miranda could work with the Normandy crew and get a clearer picture of what was going on.

"Yeah," Ashley said distractedly. "Look, I'm sorry I accused you. We can really use your help here."

"Sure. Where's Liara?" Miranda asked. Her best bet would be to work with Liara. Besides, Miranda already knew she was the Shadow Broker.

* * *

"It might take a while for your voice to be normal again," Chakwas said after they removed the breathing tube. "Here, drink some water."

Shepard took the glass from Chakwas and took only a few sips. The water burned her raw throat, but soon enough it changed into a relief.

When Shepard woke up, she was confused. It took her a while to remember what happened.

"Can I talk with Ashley?" It was the first thing Shepard said. She wanted to know what happened. More importantly, she wanted to know what happened with Avery.

Did they catch her?

Was she locked up?

Was she even alive?

"Not now," Chakwas checked on some monitors, "You'll have to rest up."

"It's not that bad. Just a few broken ribs, right?"

"Commander," Chakwas stopped with what she was doing, "yes you have a few broken ribs, but you also have a punctured lung not to mention you were stabbed."

"And my side?" her side ached. It was making her very uncomfortable. She felt numb which meant she was probably on some strong pain meds.

"I was getting to that. Your side got an infection. Luckily that's better right now," Chakwas sounded serious. More than she usually does.

Shepard nodded as her list of injuries made her memories more clear, "So no visitors?"

"If I had my way, that would be the case," Chakwas said. Shepard was pretty sure there was a but in there.

"But?"

"But Miranda is here and she demanded to see you," from Chakwas' tone alone Shepard could hear it was important.

"When?"

"Now."

"Alright," Shepard tried to sit up straight but her ribs and her abdomen reminded her that she couldn't. Pain lancing and pulsing throughout her body. Her heart rate increased which caused some alarms to go off.

"Don't do that," Chakwas said, being strict.

"You should listen to her, Shepard," Miranda said while Chakwas changed some settings on Shepard's bed. Shepard didn't even hear her come in.

"Since when are you so quiet?"

"I can be quiet if I want to be," Miranda said with a smirk.

"I'll leave you two," just as Chakwas was about to exit, she gave a warning to Miranda, "10 minutes."

Neither Shepard nor Miranda said anything further to Chakwas.

"You've definitely looked better than this," Miranda broke the ice.

Shepard chuckled but immediately regretted it as it sent a sharp pain to her ribs, "Yeah, you could say that."

"If this could've waited, I would have, but," Miranda seemed to hesitate," this is important."

"So, Avery escaped."

Miranda was caught surprised, "How did you get to that conclusion?"

"The Cerberus leader is dead," Miranda might not know how he died, so Shepard explained, "I killed him. Avery is the other big head that was present. But…" she stopped, feeling the guilt overwhelming her. "She was hurt."

Miranda seemed to have caught the feeling, "Garrus told me what happened. This isn't your fault."

"How did we get here? When I met you, I avoided you every chance I got." Shepard tried to change the subject as smoothly as possible.

"Yeah…but things change. You've helped me see who Cerberus really is.

"And this time, I drove someone to Cerberus' arms."

Miranda gave her a sceptical look, "That's not true. People make their own choices. You don't know what happened to Avery. You're not responsible for other people's actions."

"So what did you want to talk about?"

"Tell me everything you know," Miranda said, "With both mine and Liara's contacts, we still can't find her.

So that's what Shepard did. She started where she met Avery the first time. Their conversations. All the time she and Avery contacted each other. Shepard made sure she didn't skip anything, and thanks to her photographic memory it wasn't possible to forget anything.

"Hmm…" Miranda said once Shepard finished. Considering all of the information Shepard had just shared. "This doesn't make sense."

"What?" Shepard inquired.

"Everything that you've told me about Avery doesn't add up to a person doing something like _this_," Miranda came to the same conclusion that Shepard did. "You want to find out what happened to her, don't you?"

Shepard chose not to deny it, she knew Miranda would catch on. Maybe when they just started to work with each other, but it was different now. "Yeah. I think that's one way of finding out."

"That might be the way."

The way Miranda phrased her words left Shepard wondering, "Meaning?"

"I worked with Liara and do you know what we found?" Miranda paused, Shepard had no idea why because it was clearly a rhetorical question. "Nothing. If you and perhaps Garrus didn't have information on her, I would've said she was a ghost."

Shepard's eyebrows rose, "Nothing? She couldn't have just disappeared."

"I agree. That's why I need your help. Which reminds me," Miranda placed an Omni-tool on Shepard's bed, "I brought you a gift."

Shepard took the Omni-tool in her hands, studying the orange object. "Woah," Shepard answered in awe. "I can't believe you did that. This one isn't even out yet."

Production for this model stopped when the reapers arrived. Designing omni-tools wasn't exactly on everyone's minds right now.

Miranda gave her one of her knowing smiles, "It's better that you don't ask any questions. I'll leave you with your new toy."

* * *

It was weeks before Shepard could leave the hospital. Weeks of physical therapy. Pain meds and the works.

Taking one step at a time. And Shepard wasn't a very patient person. She lost her cool more than once.

Visitors came and went. Each person that was important to her came to see her.

Liara came as well. She was mad at her, that much was clear. But neither of them breathed a word of their last conversation. At least not until Shepard was released from the hospital.

"It's been weeks, Liara," Shepard attempted to break the awkward silence.

No answer.

"So we're not talking anymore?"

Liara just gave her a hard glare.

"You're right," Shepard admitted.

Shepard's words made her turn around. "I do not take any joy in it," Liara said angrily.

"I know."

"We weren't prepared enough," Liara stated.

"It was a trap," Shepard countered.

"A trap. Yes. But I told you something wasn't right about it," Liara considered her words very carefully. "You should have trusted me. You should've at least trusted Garrus. But instead, you've just dismissed us as if we were nothing to you.

"I _do_ trust you."

Liara didn't believe her. "Your actions suggest otherwise."

"What was I supposed to do? Say no?" Shepard started to pace. "It needed to be handled."

"I agree with that, but it wasn't the right way," Liara paused again and then as if she remembered something she continued, "You don't need to prove yourself, Shepard. You've already done that."

"That's not why I went on this mission."

"You still should have listened to us," Liara sounded like she didn't believe her.

"You're right," Shepard sighed. "That's in the past. Let's just move on."

Liara gave her a real smile, "Of course, Shepard."

* * *

Weeks going through data. Shepard's new mission was to find out what Cerberus was up to, but that was easier said than done.

If Shepard hadn't seen Cerberus herself, she would've said they didn't exist. That she truly destroyed them.

Things were better between her and Garrus as well as Liara. They all decided to leave it in the past. What happened, happened. No way to change that.

Late nights with a lot of coffee.

People were upset and angry. Everyone wanted to leave. They wanted to go home. There were just too many people. Nobody knew if Earth would survive like that.

Food was getting scarcer by the second. Scientists worked their asses off trying to find other food sources. They made little improvement.

The truth was, the relays needed to be fixed yesterday.

Shepard could see how this was eating away at Liara.

"It doesn't help that the war is over and people are starving to death!" Liara snapped when Shepard tried to reassure her.

"You'll figure it out. You always do," Shepard told her best friend.

Shepard could see how hope was leaving Liara as she spoke, "Maybe not this time. It's different."

Shepard did her best, but knew the only thing that would help Liara is to get results. Shepard and Miranda focused on Avery. Shepard wasn't convinced that she succumbed to her injuries. She was pretty sure she survived. Shepard took hours studying those reports. The blood they found of Avery wasn't enough to be fatal. At least not there.

It was dead ends upon dead ends. Shepard knew this was going to take a long time.

In her off time, she tried to help Liara but that was Liara's world and in the end, Shepard couldn't be of much help.

However long it was going to take, that didn't matter.

They'll rebuild.

They'll get back on their feet.

The relays will get fixed.

Cerberus will be defeated

They just needed to hang on.


End file.
